By
Melbourne Functional Medicine
Jessica Cairns
Medically reviewed by:
Have you ever found yourself worrying about how much you worry? It might seem like a paradox, but it's a common experience for many people.
Worries can be minor, such as misplacing your keys and being concerned about being late as a result. This is something that is generally resolved quickly and therefore the worry disappears. However, other ongoing worries that are hard to overcome are often deeply ingrained and related to significant aspects of a person's life. These worries are usually things such as fear of developing a serious health condition, ongoing conflicts with family members, or not finding suitable employment and these can be an ongoing source of anxiety.
It's these types of worries that can become a heavy burden and can take a significant toll on your body and overall health, and therefore need to be addressed. For example, one of my patients, Jane, was constantly overwhelmed by worries about work and as a result, she was creating unhealthy habits and boundaries that were causing her a lot of chronic stress and anxiety. The source of worry was not being addressed and therefore left unresolved; this was having a significant impact on her and creating a barrier for her to access the parasympathetic nervous system, which was crucial for her to improve her symptoms. This type of chronic stress and anxiety can lead to a variety of physical and mental health issues, from headaches and digestive problems to difficulty sleeping and a weakened immune system.
As a health coach, I often see that helping patients manage stress is a crucial part of their healing journey. Effective stress management not only improves mental well-being but also enhances physical health. One of the coaching tools that is used to help patients in this process is designed to increase awareness of your worries and stressors. A worry log has the ability to help you keep track of your worries, so you can begin to understand the patterns and triggers of your stress, which is the first step toward managing and reducing it.
A worry log, or worry diary, is a tool designed to help you manage your ruminating thoughts and concerns that are creating anxiety and chronic stress by regularly writing them down. This can assist in creating an increased awareness of stress patterns, provide emotional release, and help you differentiate between controllable and uncontrollable worries.
By jotting down when, how often, and how intensely you worry, you can get a clearer picture of your stressors and figure out how to minimise their impact on your health.
Take my example of Jane, by using a worry log, she was able to identify that many of her worries stemmed from a lack of clear boundaries for herself and her business. This resulted in Jane always feeling like she needed to be visible and available in her business. Her ability to set strategies and tools in place to create a more sustainable work/life balance could only come about when she could identify the source of the worry. This insight allowed her to address the root cause, which turned out to be around how she communicated with her team and what values she wanted to set in place for her business around work/life balance. This awareness allowed her to set up new strategies for herself which, in turn, significantly reduced her stress levels.
Those who consistently use a worry log as a tool to challenge the validity of their worries tend to obsess less about worst-case scenarios and focus more on the reality of the situation.
By jotting down your worries, you not only gain a clearer understanding of your thoughts and feelings but also identify patterns and triggers that may be contributing to your stress.
Some of the key benefits of a worry log include:
There is no right or wrong way to use a worry log, as long as you start to experience some benefits.
Here are some guiding principles that might help get you started:
Step 1: Write down your worries
Whenever you notice that feeling of overwhelm or when a worrying thought seems to be taking over and interfering with your ability to stay on task then take a few minutes to write exactly what you are worried about.
In my example, Jane noticed that she was always worrying about missing a critical email or how her team would perceive her if she was not seen to be “online” and available at all times. By writing down every time she noticed this worrying thought she increased her awareness of the internal dialogue that was driving a lot of her behaviours.
Just by doing this simple act, you might experience feeling a little lighter, you may have removed some of the power from the worrying thought or it might simply just free up a little of your head space.
Step 2: Clarify your worries
Once you have written down your worry you are then able to begin to evaluate and even challenge these thoughts. This allows you to observe and then rationalise by asking yourself a series of questions; is this worry really true? Is it a problem that needs an actionable solution now? Or is it a "what if" scenario?
Jane used this strategy to critically evaluate what her perceived story was around her worry and what was the actual truth. Through clarifying her thoughts she recognised that she actually wanted and actively tried to create a culture within her organisation that encouraged work-life balance and for her employees to not feel that they were accountable to being online all the time. Jane realised with clarity that she was unconsciously displaying behaviours that were not aligned with her intention and that she did not want to foster in her business.
You could even use this opportunity to rate how strong this worry is on a scale, say, between 1 and 10 to help identify the next step that you need to take.
Step 3: Challenging your worry
This is the step that helps you get clear on if an action needs to be taken for this worry to be validated, or alternatively let go of. Ask yourself; ‘Is there anything I can or should do?’
Through coaching conversations and using the worry log to get clear on the factors that were playing into a lot of stress and anxiety for Jane, she was able to get clear on the action that needed to be taken as a result. Jane created a shift in her behaviour by setting clear boundaries that ensured she was not checking her work emails until a predetermined time in her day and that when she was spending time with her children she would stay offline in the work environment. This was communicated to the team as a way of her staying accountable to her new goals and having the team feel confident with their expectations of her.
By getting clear on the actions that you would like to take as a result of challenging your worries you have an opportunity to place the worry in one of the following categories:
Step 4: Reframing the worry
The final step in this process is an opportunity to finalise the processing of the worry so that you can leave it behind. One way of reframing is to shift the focus or perspective from “What if it goes wrong?” to “What can I gain from this experience?”.
Jane was open to seeing if her new behaviours and goals were going to play out in reality. She had identified that one of her biggest fears was that she was not going to be online or available when she was needed or that she would miss a critical email first thing in the morning. By allowing some time to see what the reality was, Jane was allowing herself to see what positives and negatives arose. These boundaries helped her set healthier frameworks at work, which meant her fears did not become a reality and her stress and anxiety started to reduce.
There are no hard and fast rules around when to do it, although, as with everything in health, consistency can be the key to unlocking meaningful change.
Here are my top tips for using a worry log:
Integrating this practice into your daily life is a proactive step towards understanding and managing your stressors.
Remember, the power of the worry log lies in its consistent use and the insights you gain from it. It's not about achieving perfection or eliminating worry entirely, but about developing a healthier relationship with your thoughts and emotions.
I recommend starting small, perhaps with a few minutes each day, and gradually building this into a habit that feels natural and supportive. Let's face it, we all worry. But using a simple tool, such as a worry log, can help you manage those worries and feel more in control.
